How To Get Her Back... The Starting Points Of Any Relationship Repair Strategy

by George Karanastasis, M.D.

If you’re currently going through a breakup and don’t know how to get her back then let me help you get started on the right foot. Before you can even think of planning a relationship repair strategy you must take into account the following four factors:

1. The length of the relationship
2. The exact time since the breakup occurred
3. The reason for the breakup
4. The sequence of events that occurred since the breakup (e.g. mistakes you’ve made and her reactions to them)

Now why is it so important to take the above into consideration first before attempting to get her back? It’s quite simple actually: these are the exact 4 factors that will determine your unique strategy for getting your girl back from this moment forward.

Because no matter what anyone tells you… every relationship is different. What worked for someone else won’t necessarily work for you. So while you can’t take a “canned approach” with your particular case… what you can (and should) do is take your current circumstances and use them to formulate a strategy that maximizes your chances of success.

For example, the length of the relationship… why is this so important? Because this defines how fast you must act to win her back and how much leeway you have with making mistakes. As a general rule of thumb, the longer the relationship was the more you can afford to step back and let time take its healing role without fear of losing her altogether. In contrast, if you’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks then giving her 3 months of space will not help your situation much.

Next, why is the time since the breakup so important? Because time works directly against you when you’re trying to get her back. So the shorter relationship was the faster you must put your strategy in place.

Next, the reason for the breakup… did she break up with you because you were too needy or because you didn’t pay her enough attention? Why is this important? Because it determines how aggressively you should pursue her.

For example, if your breakup resulted from not giving her enough attention and you haven’t made the classic mistake of begging her back, then you need to actively attempt to solve your differences. However, if neediness on your part was the culprit in ending your relationship then backing off is the approach of choice.

And finally, the events that occurred since the breakup… these are everything from errors made on your part (begging, pleading, etc.) to steps she’s taken towards getting back together; in general they’re the circumstances that take your relationship and make it completely different from everybody else’s.

And while attempting to cover these events is beyond the scope of this article keep one thing in mind: never try to “reinvent the wheel”. If something is working for you or has worked in the past then use it as part of your strategy. If not, then dump it and take the opposite approach.

So in conclusion, no matter how unique your particular breakup scenario is, it’s more than possible to come up with an effective strategy on how to get her back by taking the 4 starting points and putting them together to maximize your chances of success.

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Women: 5 Ways To Save Your Marriage

Is your marriage in trouble? No matter how bad, there’s always hope and

ways to turn your situation around. Here are five common ways to help create
a better, more loving and harmonious relationship with your husband.

1. Handle arguments differently

Every marriage and relationship has arguments, but it's how you handle them
that's most important.

At Junior High School, I said 'no' to drugs. At my wedding altar, I said 'no'
to fighting. Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign was a
huge success. Kids made a verbal commitment and a mental stance to avoid drugs
before they were even of the age to be tempted. When they were introduced to
drugs, they knew they could "just say no" and not feel alone.

Fighting is NOT harmless. It’s addictive and, if continued, is likely
to cause irreparable damage. Certainly there are times when emotions get wrinkled,
and the natural inclination is to blow your top. I sometimes have to bite my
tongue so I don't say something I would regret later (since when is self-control
a bad thing?) Having a naturally calm personality has admittedly made it easier
for me to think before I speak than it is for some people. But that shouldn't
stop anyone from trying.

2. How to make him listen

In most relationships, a polite and sincere request gets much greater results
than if you yell, nag or complain.

For example, the other day Athena saw my bath towel on the middle of our bedroom
floor. She said "you might want to hang up your towel or it won't dry out
in time for your shower tomorrow." When my clothes pile up outside of the
hamper, she sweetly says, "it would really help me out a lot if you put
your dirty clothes in the hamper."

She was exhausted one morning and when Ashton (then five months old) began
to stir, she turned over to me and asked if I wanted to "get up and have
a little morning playtime with Ashton." That was a much nicer way of asking
me to help her out than saying, "Why am I the one who always gets up early
to take care of YOUR son? I think it is YOUR turn for a change." Athena
always thinks of nice ways to ask me to help out or to stop doing something
irritating.

3. Turn gossip and bashing into praise

No one's perfect. When wives get together and the conversation turns to complaining
about “what their husbands do,” or male bashing in general, refuse
to participate.

It shows that you respect and value your husband. For a man, few things are
more devastating than to have his wife criticize him in front of friends. Instead,
when a "gripe session" gets going, make it a point to start sharing
some of his good qualities.

Usually, this alone will steer the conversation into a positive direction and
help your friends to also praise their husbands -- which in turn helps them
to respect and appreciate them more too. Knowing that my wife refuses to belittle
me in front of friends makes me love and respect her even more.

4. Change your routine of life

After a few months or years, most couples get into a comfortable pattern where
they always do the same things. Same dinner / movie dates, same sexual routine
and same behaviors. You can rekindle some of that magic and keep your marriage
magical by simply paying attention to these three important areas:

1. Go on creative dates - agree to go out and do something
you've never done before once every week, fortnight or month. It doesn't really
matter what you do, but it's important to commit and do this constantly. Want
some ideas? Go to a winery, museum, art gallery, carnival, the beach, or have
a picnic in a park.

2. Spice things up under the sheets - try a new position,
technique or location. Wear some nice lingerie or introduce some new toys into
the bedroom.

3. Change the norm - buy him a gift just to say “I love
you," give him a surprise quickie before work, a nice massage, set up a
scavenger hunt that shows how much you care about him with a gift at the end.

5. Face your money issues and debts

One of the biggest problems facing couples today is the huge amount of debt
they bring into their marriage. Not only are there more divorces, couples are
calling it quits much earlier in their marriage than ever before. Here are some
ideas to get your debt and money issues under control.

1. Sit down and prioritize all aspects of your family budget together. Only
when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting
money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams.

2. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for
your marriage and mate.

3. If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why.

4. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without.
Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn't buy those items and
had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you
view your job, your family and your future?

href="http://94f04gs1t6fwek9f2moghvmcd9.hop.clickbank.net/">

About the Author:

Michael Webb's latest book, "Getting Him Back" provides you with
a step-by-step plan to get your ex-husband back, help heal your marriage and
even prevent a divorce. For all the details, visit the how
to win him back website.

How to Get Your Ex Back and Keep Your Dignity

Have you ever wondered how to get your ex back without humiliating yourself? Well this guide will tell you just how to do that.

Steps

1. Get your head and your emotions under control. Don't run around doing things that will not help you come to terms with the breakup: trying to see your ex, calling your ex, when they want to be left alone? Instead take your deepest breath and make yourself stop.
   
2. Give yourself some quality time on your own, which means no contact whatsoever with your ex. Remember your dignity is important and you will elevate your self-esteem and stand you in good stead for when you're ready to get your ex back. This is the time when you look after you.
   
3. Reconnect with your family and friends. If in the past your time has been spent with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband then now is the time that you spend time with the other people in your life.
   
4. Go out and enjoy yourself and make sure you're not spending night after night sat at home obsessing about your ex.
   
5. After a few weeks on your own, you're ready to talk to your ex about a reconciliation. Call your ex and ask for a meeting.
   
6. Meet your ex somewhere neutral and public.
   
7. Explain your thoughts and feelings, without begging and crying, and if you have stuff to apologize for, then do so.
   
8. Give your ex a chance to say whatever they might want to say and listen.
   
9. Ask your ex for another chance and then tell them that you're going to give them some time to think things over.
   
10. Go home and wait for the call from your ex telling you what they have decided.
    

Tips

• Take as much time over the first few steps as you need. Don't rush to get through them.
  
• Keep yourself busy, especially when you're doing No Contact.
  
• The more you look after yourself diet and health wise the better you will feel and the easy it will be to make decisions that help you hold onto your dignity.
  

Warnings

• If there has been physical or verbal abuse in a relationship, don't attempt to rekindle it.
  
• Make sure your REALLY want your ex back. If it's about ego, forget it!
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get Your Ex Back and Keep Your Dignity. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

10 Ways To Rekindle The Magic In Your Relationship

By Michael Webb

Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t
have the magic and romance that it once had?

You’re not alone.

Living with the same partner for a long time can
become stable and comfortable, and, as a result,
can also kill the spark that made your relationship
so special in the first place.

Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to
reignite that magic:

1. SEND THEM A UNIQUE GIFT

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a
bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two
stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your
two names pointing to the stick figures. Write ‘I
Love You’ inside a heart. Next get a large formal
envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a
formal address label of your partner's workplace,
such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention
of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith
Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so
they receive it in the middle of a busy day.

2. BECOME KIDS AGAIN

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and
give your partner a ride. This will often bring
back happy memories from their childhood.

3. FUN WITH WATER

On a hot summer’s day, buy two large water pistols
and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out
and throw one to your partner and then have a huge
water fight.

4. A MASSAGE WITH A TWIST

Buy a small, decorated cardboard box, a sheet of
colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank
card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the
massage oil in the box and write the following
message on the card: I know a great masseur. For an
appointment call: (Your Phone Number)

5. BRING BACK CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

Contact your partner's family and ask if there was
anything she always wanted when she was a little
girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain
doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only
appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you
were thoughtful enough to find out what she always
wanted. You can do this for your man too.

6. STARE AT THE CLOUDS

Drive into the country, find a grassy hill, and lie
with your partner and look up at the clouds.

7. WALK ALONG THE BEACH

Trace out the shape of a large love heart in the
sand. Sit inside the heart and cuddle your partner
as you watch the sun go down.

8. ORGANIZE A PICNIC ON A WARM SUMMER’S NIGHT

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get
together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie
down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up
at the stars together.

9. SHOW YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find
it, with a note on it saying: "Thank you for coming
into my life."

10. SPICE UP YOUR LOVEMAKING

Probably the most profound way to rekindle the
romance in your relationship is to spice up your
lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a little
gift after you make love, try a new position, learn
to give your partner a sensual massage before or
after, or just spend some time staring into each
other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before
making love.

Many people underestimate the affect passionate and
intimate lovemaking has on a relationship. If you
spice it up, chances are you and your partner will
naturally do romantic things for each other. Why?
Because passionate lovemaking connects two people
in a meaningful and unexplainable way that nothing
else can.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500
Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up
your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and
intimacy to your experience.

How to Win an Ex Back

Three powerful and time tested strategies to win an ex back and bring back happiness to your life

Steps

1. Take a good look at yourself: When you first fall in love with your partner, what type of a person were you? In the first place, your partner was attracted to you because he/she feels good about you, and you were fulfilling his/her emotional needs. Sure enough when a partner strays, others will tell you ‘people change'. However, I want you to take a moment and think “Have I changed?” Be that person whom your partner was once deeply in love with. Your partner strays because his/her needs are not fulfilled. Think of what you can do to save the relationship. Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Remember, you have to change in order for the external world to change.
   
2. Do not stick to your partner like glue: Practice detachment. Never show your desperation and craving no matter how bad you want him/her back. This will only make your situation worse. Make sure you don’t make it seem like you want him/her back. Be a carefree and independent person. As mentioned earlier, you must be able to give her true and unconditional love no matter what happens. At the same time, cultivate the hobbies and attitude as such that you are fully responsible for your own's happiness. You really do not need to depend on another person to experience happiness and peace. If you learn to cultivate this pattern, you will realize that your lover will be the one who is scared of losing you!
   
3. Do not stop them from seeing other people: If you start to complain, cry and whine, that you will instantly drive him/her away to that third party! Human nature is as such that the more you stop them from having something, the more they want it! On the other hand, respect his/her choices and freedom. Do not let jealousy set in. Let them do whatever they please and let them know that you will always be there. Soon they will realize that you are a better person than your rivals as you respect them more than anyone else does.
   

Tips

• Go out and take a breather. Staying at home and thinking of the breakup will not help you win back your ex.
  
• Spend some time to analyze the situation and find out the reasons that caused the breakup.
  
• Do not beg your ex to come back.
  
• Change any bad habits that you have.
  
• Do not try to change, manipulate, force, threaten and restrict him/her;
  
• You must be able to give true and unconditional love to him/her no matter what happen;
  
• Respect his/her choices;
  
• Remember what happened to cause you two to break up and don't let it happen again. If you broke up because one of you were jealous, show him/her that things have changed and that you have more trust in him/her.
  
• You can't really control other people, so don't try too hard
  
• Give up and face reality if its not working.
  
• If your ex was the one to end the relationship then it is likely that they won't want you back so try just being friends and maybe in the future they may change their mind, don't push it
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Win an Ex Back. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.